Wedding Day Body Pressure: Why It’s Time to Change the Narrative
I didn’t think this pressure would affect me. Not after all the work I’ve done, both personally and professionally, to build a healthy relationship with food and body image. But as my wedding day approached, I felt it creeping in. The subtle but persistent thought: I need to be trying to look my absolute best! - with “best” so often being synonymous with “smallest.”
And I know I’m not alone in this. Over the past few months, many of my friends have also been in their wedding season, and I’ve seen how much this expectation has weighed on them too. The belief that a bride should strive to be the “best version” of herself on her wedding day is so ingrained in our culture. But too often, that definition is reduced to appearance - to weight, to size, to the fit of the dress - rather than how we actually feel in our bodies.
It’s everywhere. The “wedding shred” plans, the six-month bridal bootcamps, the conversations among friends about dieting for the big day. The messaging is clear: your wedding is the most important day of your life, and you should look perfect for it. And in many cases, perfect means smaller.
I always encourage my clients to move away from this kind of pressure, to focus on health and well-being over aesthetics. And yet, when it was my turn, I still found myself questioning whether I should be doing more - eating “cleaner,” working out harder, trying to fit some ideal of the “bridal body.” Without even fully realizing it, I started exercising more and watching my eating more closely. In moments, I would catch myself and bring that rational voice forward - the one that reminded me that I didn’t want to be an unattainable version of myself. I wanted to look back on my wedding day and know that I felt great, happy, and in a state I could maintain with ease, not something I had to fight to achieve.
When the focus is purely on looking a certain way, we risk losing sight of what really matters. Instead of enjoying the lead-up to the wedding, so many brides end up stressed about food, feeling guilty after meals, or pushing their bodies to do things that don’t actually feel good. And beyond that, the idea that we must be at our “best” (aka smallest) for this one day suggests that who we are right now isn’t already enough.
And the irony? On the actual day, none of that mattered. The joy, the emotions, the people surrounding us - that is what made the day incredible. Not the number on a scale.
It’s okay to want to feel amazing on your wedding day. It’s okay to want to take care of yourself, to nourish your body, to move in ways that bring you joy. But the goal shouldn’t be to shrink yourself into some version of “bridal perfection.” Instead, what if we focused on feeling our best? Energised, happy, present. Because let’s be honest, feeling your best probably won’t come from extreme dieting, over-exercising, or constantly worrying about how you look in photos.
For me, the best moments of my wedding had nothing to do with how I looked. They were about laughing with my husband, dancing with my friends, eating the food I love, and feeling completely in the moment. And when I think back on that day, I’m so grateful I didn’t let the pressure to be my smallest self take away from that experience.
If you’re a bride to be feeling this pressure, I want you to know you’re not alone. And I want to remind you that your wedding day isn’t a deadline for achieving some ideal version of yourself. You are already worthy of joy, love, and celebration, exactly as you are!
Much love, Harriet x
Wedding photos featured in this post were captured by Amour Weddings.
Check out their work at https://www.amourweddings.co.nz/ @amour.weddings_